Chronic Fatigue vs Geocaching!

I am so exhausted, tired all the time. I sleep the normal amount of hours at night.
I work a normal job of 27 hours a week, which I have had to cut down to 17 hours in the hopes I can carry on working instead of long term sickness due to this debilitating exhaustion.
I don’t go out partying/socialising or spend excessive lengths of time on the Internet.
I have 2 children who are now old enough to help out around the home and they do. I only play taxi driver a couple of times a week for them, barring the school run of course.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who has helped out so much around the home with everyday chores, so I can rest up and be well.
But for eight weeks now I have struggled to stay awake and be functional! When I do feel well rested, my joints and muscles ache like I’ve walked/ran a marathon. I’m not unfit, last year during most weekends I would walk/hike between 3 & 10 miles doing circulars, Whatever took my fancy! Now I’m being driven by smif247 to cache & dashes!
The exhaustion is causing me to struggle walking up a regular set of stairs at home, by the time I get to the top I’m crawling, I cannot do that in work, the children would all laugh at me!
And so I push on, forcing myself to stay awake to complete a full days work in school. Then I come home and force myself to be functional around my children and boyfriend.
I just want to be normal and lead a normal life! This is my first relapse in more than 10 years and it’s worse than before.
The exhaustion gets in the way of home life, work life, geocaching life & social life! Resulting with me feeling like I’m taking liberties. Being a burden and not being fun to be around. I hate this feeling and I try to not let it get to me! But right now it’s getting the better of me.
I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and currently there is nothing I can do about it!
But rest and do virtually nothing!
Please can I have my life back now? I don’t deserve this!

By Luminesence

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Categories: Geo Stories, Life goes on, My life, my journey | Tags: , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Chronic Fatigue vs Geocaching!

  1. teafairy

    it’s really tough hun, i understand how you feel. i had a kidney transplant two and a half years ago and usually i’m well and you’d never know. however, due to my reduced immune system i contracted a virus called cmv which has similar effects to glandular fever/m.e. it is devastating to your social life, makes it very difficult to function normally at home and means you need to ask people you’d never normally bother for help which can only make you feel like a burden. i’ve had to cancel holidays at the last second, gigs and theatre trips and it left me wondering why anyone would want to commit to doing any of those things with me in case i let them down. i have however been pleasantly surprised that everyone has stuck with me, some more than others admittedly, but friends have taken buses, trains and taxis to come and visit me in hospital, done my shopping for me, come and sat with me while i’ve felt awful and drifted in and out of sleep AND they’re still willing to take a risk and book holidays with me. if they’re worth it they will stick around and if they don’t then they weren’t the friend you thought they were. it’s so hard to ask for help but just remember it’s not your fault, it’s something that happened to you and you’re still working and raising a family which some people don’t manage even without the burden of an illness. sounds to me like you’re doing very well indeed :o)

  2. teafairy

    any time lovely. just remember you’re not on your own and if you ever need a good old moan i’m on fb and i ‘get it’. chin up xx

  3. Bill Derwent

    I know the effects CFS can have on a person – and the strains it can put on a relationship and lifestyle, so I can genuinely offer sympathy on this. If it’s a relapse, there’s a good chance that you’ll un-relapse (There’s no doubt a medical word for it, but let’s stick with un-relapse, ’cause it sounds funner). If the people you have around you understand the issue and give you the support your need, you will push through and soon the relapse will just be a memory.

    Most of all, as I’m sure you know, the most important thing for now is to just believe that you will get better. Believing it is the first hurdle, but from there, the hurdles all get smaller.

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